Part 2

Yes Frank, I replied, I did not hear a word he was saying as the very sound of his voice only made me hate him more. I told him I had to get off the phone as he already knows that my job does not tolerate personal calls. He said he was sorry and that he will see me later. That very thought of going home to this monster literally made me sick. I tried hard not to think about the conversation and bury myself in my work. But my mind went into to rewind and I start to remember all the times he would tell me that I was ugly and that no other man would be interested in me. I could hear him making statements like I should consider myself lucky that I have a man who will protect me. The scenes from September 10, 1983 came rushing back and it made me so angry, knowing that I did not cry out for help when it mattered. The argument started because I accidentally taped over his football game. He started to raise his voice and I saw that look again, that tells me I was about to be hurt, he held me by my throat and slammed my head into the glass partition of the entertainment center. The next think I knew I was looking up at this doctor standing over me. Miss Williams the voice said miss William it repeated, then he asked how I was feeling. I gave him the thumbs up sign because I was finding my mouth very hard to open. He told me to take it easy because my face is going to need a lot of time to heal. When I was able to speak I ask the doctor how many stitches did it take to close the wound he told me 97. He told me that the police are waiting, assuming I would be pressing charges. Then I realize that I was not conscious to make up a story, which means that someone must have told him I was abused.

Someone knock on my cubical and I snap back into reality, it was Laura she wanted to how the report was coming I told her I would have it for her before the day was over. I waited until she was gone before I went back online looking for information about my situation. It seems that everyone is an expert on domestic violence. I was reading some of the articles that these professional were writing and I must say I hope none of them ever walk in my shoes. It is hard enough going through the relationship putting up with the every day abuse, hearing very little being mentioned on the news station. It would seem only when a woman is killed domestic violence is mentioned. I longed for the day when I a woman who grew up in the south and listening to my dad telling me that I must carry myself in a proper way so that a good man may want to make me his wife. Those days were enlightening to a certain degree, as I found out what is it was like to be respected and cherished by society. I do not know if mama was ever abused if she was, I never saw it, and there was no mention of anything by any of my siblings.

I do not know why I do this to myself; always bringing up the past and getting myself upset. After wiping my eye I walked over to Laura’s office and place my report on her desk. Then I heard a voice say, “Hey girl don’t tell me that you’re the last one to leave again”  “hello Mitchell, it looks like it’s right”? Mitchell is one of the few people I can trust in this office sometimes I feeling that she knows I am one of “those women”. We do not get too much time to hang out because I am not privileged to have the pleasure of going out with girl friends on a Saturday night because, of coarse, I would be accused of having an affair.

I could see the sunset from the office window being this high on the 84th floor gives me an uninterrupted view. After signing out of my computer the feeling sets in, that I am about to go home.  I am usually home this time of the evening but I decided to take my time and collect my thoughts and figure out how I will break the news to this man that our relationship is over. I know it will be tough, but I feel my life is at stake here. After turning into the drive way I see that the light was on in the basement so I knew he was home. The door was half open which means he was probably just getting home himself. My heart was beating so hard I could barely hang up my keys, I know for the first time I will be standing up to the man whom I have been afraid of for so many years. “Just getting in?” he voiced, and then he proceeded to the interrogation on my supposed time for getting home. I told him that I am sick and tried of his derogatory statements I feeling he needs to find someone else who will put up with is nonsense. I turn away and headed for the stairs. Yelling at me at top of his voice telling me to come back because he wanted to know what I meant by that statement, but I ignored him and proceeded upstairs I could hear his footsteps rapidly approaching, then I felt this sharp tug on my hair and I felt my body falling backward I could feel pins and needle in my spine, then complete darkness surrounded me.